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  • Writer's picturemaestroandprincess


There’s a scene in Grace and Frankie, S1E3, where they go out to buy cigarettes. The clerk ignores them and waits on a young, attractive female instead. Grace loses her shit and starts screaming, “Hello? Hello???? Are we invisible!?” Back in the car, Frankie pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and says, “Relax. I learned something. We have a super power.” Grace asks incredulously, “You stole those!?” To which Frankie responds, “Can’t see me, can’t stop me.” (You can check out the clip here.)

Not that we’re going to be stealing cigarettes or hitting up any banks. The little message is that society does not see the older woman; the bigger message is we can find a way to use that to our advantage.

This is a goal of our Adventures of Maestro & Princess.

When we go out we are heard and we are seen because we make it so. Of course showing up in pairs with lots of money helps too. But recall the audacity of us having calling cards, for goodness sake! Daring to call ourselves legend? We are too loud, too flamboyant, and often behave inappropriately. That just comes naturally when we’re together, lol. But here is something we’ve realized. If we acted the way we do now when we were in our 20’s, we would have been thrown out of most places. Now, when they do see us and hear us, they simply don’t know what to make of us. In their minds, aren’t we supposed to be at home watching Matlock and rubbing ourselves down with Icy Hot? (I mean, we also do that, but…)

Out in the world, we take off our invisibility cloak and we imagine that we are one of three things to that clerk who is supposed to be selling us cigarettes: 1) We are strange and he wants to give us whatever we want so we’ll quickly go away; 2) We are entertaining and he wants to celebrate that by giving us more than what we want and laughing at our jokes; or 3) We remind him of his mother, and nobody wants to mistreat their mother. No matter what we are to him though, we win.

I’ve got to stop here. I don’t want to give away too many of our superpower secrets, lest anyone reading this fits into the category of those we might use them against - wink.

Grace and Frankie are in their late 70’s, but the invisibility of women begins, I believe, somewhere in the late 40’s and 50’s. This seems particularly true of women who are out-of-shape, with gray hair, wrinkles, dark circles or puffy eyes - essentially looking their actual age. And don’t even get me started on how true it is for Black women. That’s a whole other layer of invisibility and another blog post to come.

Media wants to inspire us to turn back time, to present ourselves to the world like the younger version of ourselves - a superpower we really don’t have. But if we recognize and use the one we do have, we have a greater chance of changing the outcomes in our favor.

So Ladies? Recognize your superpower. Wear the red hat and even a cape if you like, but be who you are. Not who you were or who you could be, but who you are now in this present moment, without apology. In this day and age it may just be our only line of defense, but it’s also a lot of fun. And if they still don’t see you, leave a comment below and let us know where we can get free cigarettes.



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